Remember the character of “Maverick” in the movie “TOP GUN” played by Hollywood actor Tom Cruise, notorious for his dare devilish aerial stunts(read mid air inverted flips and low flying fly bys), Well that was all fiction, but we have real “Top Guns” on the Indian roads who don’t fly combat aircrafts but 4 wheeled beasts that they claim are no less. When they do those infamous Zig Zag on-road sorties at supersonic speeds, it’s actually the other drivers who feel the adrenaline rush…out of terror and not fun!!
Here is a panoramic recount of my observations, that I enjoy every morning and evening….Even though the search is On for finding more peculiar ones! Look what all Gestures Indians Make While Driving!
Getting ready for PageantYou have to see it to believe it, For some sitting in the front seat is almost like sitting in front of the mirror(rear view) and asking that infamous question “Mirror Mirror…Who is the beautiful of them all…”(No offences intended ladies…my wife too spends her 1st 5 mins trying to find that answer every time she travels with me) and I enjoy this one the most, for the fact they are completely oblivious of the fact that they are watched keenly by people like me!! Those flickering of hair locks, filing of nails, applying mascara, adjusting those sparkling danglers is a sight in itself and this act gets more serious and frequent if they are heading for a Big Fat Indian Wedding!!
Shoveling the NoseHate this One if You Want, But Indians get all the joy in the world trying to shovel out that hidden treasure in the nose while driving. I don’t know if that’s a way of shedding away the fear of getting late or some state of happiness but this is definitely one insanely pleasures seen while driving. And it imlores me to invent a new phrase “One hand on the wheel, another trying to Heal”(Did You asked me What?— I don’t know).
That Smile all aloneI Simply love this One, for I have experienced it myself as well! Imagine this…On a busy Monday morning, you started early and are driving down to office , like everyone is(though do not want to),listening to your favorite music, and know that you would make it in time…Suddenly Unconsciously You Smile, for that last night fun you had with school friends where all you did was remembering those timeless moments that are a part of you! I have seen people smiling in that trance for as long as 15-20 Secs, forgetting about the who’s around and watching…Watch out for this one…and Do Smile Once You Find This Smile!!
Those Swinging Necks and Banging HeadsThe best time to find this one is either afternoons or late evenings, I used to wonder what makes people swing their necks, then found out they were grooving to their favorite music, most of them do it after a drinks session…Yo Yo Honey Singh being the ringmaster and the driver almost dancing out of this seat! Rock Music lovers are a miles above, they bang their heads out of “High” it takes them to, almost as if they are right there in the middle of a Bon Jovi Live concert swinging to his “BLAZE OF GLORY”!
Snoring Away To GlorySleeping while being driven(by a driver offcourse), sees no caste, creed or your corporate designation, this one is “thoroughly” enjoyed by the likes of housewives, businessmen and top-honchos. The Power of a short nap or popularly penned as “Power Nap” is known to one and all, One slowly dissolves into this state, driving intoxicates him further only to wake up all fresh and rejuvenated. And those expressions are priceless, I believe, most of the FB pictures(sleeping) were taken during such power naps! But every time I’m there in the passenger’s seat, all I pray is that the driver doesn’t falls asleep!!
Leeching EyesThat scan(Yes I mean it in its literal sense)…every passing good looking damsel in other car and rate them on their own indigenous “Hotness Meter”, and tell you what Ladies are so good at it, their eyes work like a combo of a military radar and a MRI machine, from finding that “Face-Worth of a Look” to scanning it and moving on to the next is a matter of few micro seconds, and they have choicest findings to share that range from minutest details of color of lipstick to the quality of dress material, and they can do all this from any distance …What powers it all…I’m yet to find answers folks!
Chatting on the BluetoothIndians are such great chatterboxes and are blessed to talk with all 9 Rasaas (Love, Laughter, Fury, Compassion, Disgust, Horror, Heroic mood, Amazement) adorning their face, that it becomes a delight to watch someone talking with someone over the phone or other otherwise, and If you see someone talking on a Bluetooth… Ohh that sight becomes so interesting! Once I was driving down from office, and adjacent to me was a couple travelling in the parallel lane, they had just started back from office, the guy was a jovial mood but this lady was furious about something, frequent traffic snarls somehow kept me hooked on to them, suddenly I could make out they were shouting, we were almost nearing the red light when this lady slapped him and he stopped, I also braked at the same time…and Our eyes met, While I was embarrassed but they were shocked as if someone switched on lights in a dark room where they were making out!
We Indians..love our Cars and Our Driving…It’s almost like a vacation driving on Indian roads, for the time spent due to maddening urban congestion(regardless of season, timings) especially the office rush. I find a story worth telling in every observation I make…Driving on Indian roads is one of them! So next time watch out as someone like me might be scripting something about you!
Winding Up as The famous Song of rock band “The Police” starts to play in my ears..!
“Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take, I’ll be watching you…
O can’t you see, How my poor heart aches with every step you take, Every move you make, Every vow you break, Every smile you fake, Every claim you stake, I’ll be watching you”
PS: Pl do not drive like a observatory, Your Own Life is Imp too for someone back home!
Do write in comments your own experience of driving on Indian roads…