Can You Be Friends With Someone You Once Loved?

Can You Be Friends With Someone You Once Loved?

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They say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all but I don’t think I completely agree. I have loved and lost more than once and it doesn’t get any easier the second time around. Maybe it wasn’t even love, just infatuation- who knows? All I know is that it broke me and my heart will never be whole again.

No, I’m not being dramatic! Anyone who’s been through a break-up knows what it feels like and knows that even though time heals all wounds, it leaves you with the memories of yesteryear and with the thoughts of what could have been.


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Three years ago I fell in love with my best friend and it was all rainbows and butterflies. It was amazing. We never knew anyone who had love like ours and thought we were the luckiest people on this planet to have found each other. Those first few months were dotted with holding hands, hidden kisses between classes and eternal bliss. It was for the first time in my life that I understood what love really was.

Perfect right? Wrong!

Yes, it was amazing while it lasted and I will always cherish those memories in the years to come but in the process I lost my best friend.

Would I have been better off never dating him? Maybe.

Nothing went drastically wrong. No one cheated, there was no emotional drama or manipulative behaviour but somehow over a period of time both of us reached the conclusion that it just wasn’t working out anymore.

10 years of friendship and a 3-year relationship all down the drain. It was over.

We had grown together and treasured each other’s company but now we couldn’t even look at each other without feeling gut wrenching pain and resentment. We had begun to begrudge each other and that was the worst thing that could have happened.


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Well now what? Everyone around me told me this would happen and I didn’t listen to any of them. Maybe I should have but then I wouldn’t have had the three most amazing years of my life. I can’t say I regretted my decision of having dated him but I do feel remorse for not having him in my life anymore.

Being friends with someone you had such a deep emotional connection with and were so vulnerable to is not easy. All the odds are against you and maybe you’re better off severing all ties and moving on with your life but also know that genuine friendships are few.

Don’t let go off something so wonderful because of silly egotistical battles and stupid fights, it is what I did and I regret it every single day. I wish I’d stop letting petty non-issues play such a big role in who stays in my life.

Take time off and relearn who you are as a person. Rediscover your relationship and rebuild your friendship. Pit the risks against the rewards and learn how to be genuinely happy for one another.

Just because your relationship didn’t work out and because you’ll weren’t meant to be doesn’t mean that’s where your journey with each other should end.


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Even though I didn’t manage to maintain my friendship with my ex I vehemently disagree with people who say exes can’t remain friends. Discarding someone from your life completely is not easy. You’ll were once a big part of your life and holding onto that is worth it.

Your friendship doesn’t have to mean being all up in each other’s business or even talking every day, it just has to mean that you know they’re there for you if and when you need them. I think this feeling is something worth holding onto. Don’t let them be just somebody you used to know.